Why owning who you are gets you results

People often ask me how my “woo” and esoteric side can have practical applications in the corporate world.

It is literally my north node to be of service: in making the esoteric - very practical and down to Earth. This means using concepts that may appear “airy fairy”, very concrete, so it gets you results. The tools change your life. They get you that job. They show you where you have been playing small so that you get that raise, ditch the toxic boyfriend, upgrade your social circle.

Let’s take my client J who is a successful C suite banker. She kicks a** in her career but still she was playing small. She gave everything to building her career, excelling in each and every task and going beyond the call of service to her employer( a blue chip investment bank). She was passed up for promotion a few times for partnership despite doing better than her peers, who got the promotion in front of her.

When we started working together we uncovered some deep seated beliefs about people pleasing, appeasing people to her own detriment - never really seeing how precious she was. By using some of my excavation tools for uncovering what lay underneath these tendencies, she discovered that as a child she was petrifed of letting her mother down for fear of reprisal: being ignored, shunned, punished. This little girl grew up to succeed, be a hard worker and team player. She always put other people first, was a great manager and delivered results. 

What was the issue? Her motivation. How she saw herself. Even though she had the clippings of success - she was being taken advantage of. This was not an isolated incident just at work. It permeated every aspect  of her life. The men she dated, her friends, her general overgiving nature. The motivation of people pleasing and being “the good girl”” never complaining, working harder, doing better - came at the expense of her boundaries and self worth. She was motivated by fear of not belonging, of being outcast, of being unloved. As a child she learned to get these things by allowing her own needs to be secondary to getting her mother’s love. As an adult though this behaviour was not serving her: she was not speaking up for herself, she was allowing people to stample over her boundaries, take advantage of her and leave her feeling angry, frustrated and confused.

When J understood where this behaviour was coming from, we set upon building up her self image and releasing these old patterns. The result? She left the job that didn’t recognise her contribution and found one where she is valued for who she is. She left a very narcissistic partner who also took advantage of her generosity and kind heart. She noticed who in her friends circle was really there for her vs what she could give to them. Usually in life there is a spilllover. How you do one thing is how you do everything. The “good girl” syndrome had repercussions not just at work but in other areas too.

J worked with me for 3 months. She came to me at a time when she realised she just could not continue the way she was going. The therapy wasn’t helping. The meditations were not shifting the needle. The pain of going round in circles was enough to get her to try something radical. That is when she came to me.

This is often the case with many of my clients. They come to me when others things they have tried have not worked. A last resort of sorts. These are the clients ripe for my containers. J was ready. She knew she had to change because she realised she was the only one who could make the change (life was not happening TO her) When she took responsibility for her life, when she was willing to see herself deeply and do some repair work, she released the behavior and beliefs that were keeping her in a looping cycle of frustration and being the under dog.

She is now a valued member of another huge top tier bank, she has another job offer on the board of an exciting related business, she has moved on from the toxic partner and also newly redecorated her home. She has friends around her who love her and support her and she can keep at arms length those that drain her life energy. 

Valuing who you are, speaking up for what you deserve and being willing to release everything that is dragging you down is the secret sauce you need to uplevel your life. I don’t have conventional tools. I don’t speak to conventional people. I am not conventional. But if you want radical change in a way that fits your unique personality, style and aspirations - I may just have that secret sauce for you too.

Let’s chat and see if my kind of magic fits your particular needs. If you already know this feels right for you - go ahead and book here.

Above all, remember you get what you allow. If you want something to change, it starts with you.