Being led by Spirit vs Ego: New sessions opening up
I have been going through some pretty heavy initiations into business templates since the end of October last year, where I spread myself too thin.
Last year I was showing up all the time on socials, I did many free masterclasses, free live readings and low ticket offers. I know this didn’t feel good in my body but I PUSHED MYSELF to prove I could do it . This is typical for an open ego in Human Design - who in it’s shadow aspect constantly feels it needs to do more to feel worthy. Add to that the pressure I felt watching my mentors churning out content and offers at high velocity. At the back of my mind I knew I wasn’t lazy but the message I was receiving was that if your business is not a “hobby” you have to be consistent. Thus - push mode was on. My Ego was running the show.
My body, nervous system and creativity shut down. Completely. I had to sleep for hours between client sessions. I had no drive or desire to create anything. Things that used to light me up, didn’t anymore. I unfollowed hundreds of accounts, and left many groups. I blocked people who would add me to groups without my permission. I felt overwhelmed to even write a small post. I used to love coming on live and suddenly had nothing I wanted to talk about. My body felt heavy and constantly on the verge of bursting into tears. This is despite being mindful of what I ate, how much I move my body and other stress releasing techniques (I am a certified health coach) Doctors ran test upon test and found - NOTHING. Worse still they wanted to put me on anti -depressants. That’s a hard no for me. I knew western medicine was not the answer to my current predicament.
This taught me a lot and also brought to light what is incorrect for me as a motorless splenic Projector. For those of you who follow Human Design this will mean something to you. I was in my not self. Again. It’s called an Experiment for a reason and as I enter my 6th year of living as a Projector, I realise the deconditioning is not over by a long shot.
I share this with you because:
1) I am human and have the same trials and tribulations as anyone
2) My journey may or may not resonate with you so you may glean some benefit
3) I don’t believe in perfection (anymore) and openly share my experiences to show my weaknesses and truth in building a solopreneur business
4) I’m not looking for sympathy, advice or direction externally anymore. I observe but do not ingest without my body giving me the green light
What this meant for my business is complete rest and re-focus. I closed down group and low ticket offers. I decided to focus on my high end total transformation deep dive container called Fate Changer. No more going live, feeling I had to churn out content to remain relevant and no more making offers to show my authority and value. I have a library of 5 years of work that I can rely on. I have testimonials and certifications that I no longer feel I need to share in order to know my work is original and powerful. I can if it feels good. Totally different motivation.
The result of this 4 month cocooning has meant I have some of my energy back. I listen to my body more. I stopped taking on more courses and mentors. I only show up when I want. I have had to turn people away that wanted single sessions. My income went up from doing less. I feel more space and creativity coming back. I learnt what it means for me to me by own authority. It’s the basis of my teachings and guidance - and yet I was not fully following my own advice. Spirit came in and pushed me into reflection and redirection.
Where I am now is changing again after the 4 month recalibration and de-conditioning period. For the first time since I opened my business I raised my rates. My single session offer is OPEN AGAIN UNTIL FEB 16 and so are my signature session packages. Fate Changer is still my priority but as I have more capacity now, as I hired another team member, and as I know I want to work only 1.1 for now, a lot has cleared up for me. This means I am more powerful as a change agent for you. I will periodically open up these sessions so please book soon if you want to have access to me outside the Fate Changer container.
If you are still reading, know this:
You have the right to take a break and it doesn’t make you weak or uncommitted. It makes you self aware
You are allowed to disagree with mentors coaches and healers if it doesn’t feel good to you. This can be done with full respect and self responsibility for your outcomes. In fact this is essential to becoming a highly discerning person who can live in duality. Someone is not wrong if it doesn’t work for you. Disagree and take what does feel good. Focus on what works and allow the rest to just be.
Not every person, client, potential lover, friend, staff member is going to be a good fit. Know what you want, know your value and stick to it. Be clear what you offer, what you want and be willing to compromise where it’s warranted. Also know when it’s time to let someone go, let your business evolve, allow clients to find another more suitable mentor. Grasping is not attractive. Certainty is.
You decide what you are worth. Not the industry. Not a coach or mentor. Be solid in yourself. When you are solid you attract people who are solid. People who know what they want are are ready to have it.
Thanks for staying for my TED Talk. I feel excited for this next chapter. On my terms. In Service to The Great Mystery.